Business advice from the dating scene

During my recent adventures in Colombia on my way home from Afghanistan, along came a beautiful young Colombian woman of the ripe age of 21.

She was very aggressive in pursuing my gringoness and swore not to be like any previous Colombian woman I had been with or married.

SHE preferred older, mature men.

Me being nearly 47 years old, she is not in my ideal dating range at all and despite being beautiful…there’s obviously no long term possibilities.

“I have kids your age.” I told her with a laugh.

Nice girl…no thank you. I prefer to find a partner instead of a one-night-fling. And I have the patience and foresight to know what I want and wait for it.

I told her to enjoy her youth, date a wide range of people and take her time before settling down.

The more so gave her reasons NOT to be interested in me (negative striplining), the harder she pursued me.

“Mi Gringo hermoso, why aren’t you interested in me?” she asked.

My response:

I’m a businessman and former Intelligence Officer. I understand motivations.

In any business the HR department is constantly taking applications even if they have no open positions.

Why?

Many reasons, but people’s real motivations for being a product, getting a job or even dating are often not easily noticed. And money is never really a true motivation.

Neither is buying a house, a car or any other product. Unless you’re exceptionally skilled or a trained intelligence officer, it’s likely you won’t know how to identify the REAL motivation someone has.

Especially in dating.

I’m business and selling, most often the motivation is status, a sense of achievement, appreciation or belonging.

If financial, it’s not the money earned but what they can do with that money.

Taking applications constantly is a means of mitigating a loss of an exceptional employee, supplier or even a dating prospect. A hedge against risk.

Something this young woman has yet to learn in life.

Let’s take for example an intern vs a full-time employee. Or even a probationary period for an employee. You have to spend time getting to know one another.

A newly found dating prospect is like an intern. Most interns move on to other jobs if for no other reason than to get paid or because their idea of what could be wasn’t what they really wanted.

Every now and then both an intern and employer decide the relationship is good enough to progress to a full time gig.

In time they may earn the level of manager or in the dating world may cohabitate.

This shows a higher level of commitment but still has a lot of risk. Are both sides truly committed?

Are the motivations of both parties met?

Eventually, provided all motivations are on the table and compatible, they may be offered a partnership.

I can sense the disgust of women everywhere as I compare dating and marriage to a business relationship.

“What a jerk!”

“Men suck!”

But think about it…no matter how much one’s upbringing or religious beliefs may teach you the contrary, marriage and even cohabitation now-a-days is a legal contract.

In fact, probably the most lopsided, risky business contract that exists.

And by understanding motivations, taking one’s time to build rapport and knowing how to evaluate these things, it keeps people honest, avoids complacency and ensures success.

Would you stay working for someone that doesn’t appreciate you?

That curses at you or is abusive?

Someone that doesn’t run a financially sound company?

Then you agree with me.

But also this also has applications when it comes to selling to. customers. I talk about motivations, negative striplining and all these wonderful psychological assessments that are vital to your understanding from sales appointment to close to ongoing customer relationships in my new book Top Secret Selling Basic Course which is on sale at a 40% discount ‪until TONIGHT at midnight‬ EST.

Hit the link below to purchase:

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Kory Edwards